That’s right, I’m talking to YOU

...because no one else does.

Did you ever stop to ask yourself why?

It’s time to face facts…

You’re a huge fabulous person with no friends and you need to die.

Don’t worry, everything is going to be alright, and I’ll tell you why:

Order Dr. Anansi’s Home Euthanasia Kit ™ now and your troubles will be over!

Dr. Anansi’s Home Euthanasia Kit ™ can be yours for the low low price of only $129.95!!! (we accept all major credit cards)

WOW!

Place your order today and get the “MY CONTINUED EXISTENCE IS A CURSE UPON HUMANITY” package, including same-day delivery at no extra charge!!! WOW!!!!

But wait, there’s more! Call within the next twenty minutes to receive the suicide note stationery pack absolutely free! Included are several extra sheets for failed attempts, and the clbumic cry-for-help-heard-too-late note, to make sure the people in your former life know your untimely demise is all their fault.

This is truly the opportunity of a lifetime. Don’t put off the inevitable until it’s too late! Order now, while supplies last.

Dr. Anansi’s Home Euthanasia Kit ™

1-800-NAO-UDIE

Visit us on the web at www.home-euthanasia.com

HEY DR. ANANSI

THIS THREAD NEEDS SOME ****ING TESTIMONIALS

SO LET ME TELL YOU GUYS

I USED TO BE JUST LIKE ALL OF YOU

DEPRESSED

PATHETIC

LISTLESS

GAY

OH AND HUMAN

WHICH IS EVEN WORSE THAN THAT OTHER **** TRUST ME

UNTIL I ORDERED DR. ANANSI’S HOME EUTHANASIA KIT

AND IT CHANGED MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER

NOW MORTALS QUAKE IN FEAR AT THE SOUND OF MY NAME

AND YOU KNOW HOW LITTLE KIDS ARE WETTING THEIR PANTS ALL THE TIME?

THATS TOTALLY BECAUSE OF ME

BWAHAHAHAHAHA

I GIVE THIS PRODUCT A 9.5 OUT OF TEN

Anansi Posted:

you need to die.

I’ll just wait. Need to suffer and all because I am a bad person.

Anansi Posted:

In that case I recommend something very special from the Dr. Anansi line of products…

Dr. Anansi’s Home BDSM RoboDungeon ™

(The safe-word is in an ancient forgotten dialect of Sumerian, just to make sure you will never be able to use it.)

Only $1029.95!!!

May I steal some of your money?

Hey Dr Anansi, do you have any group specials, and/or products that, say, involve tons of sex and a very messy, very shocking, very PUBLIC end to prove to the world that my special somebody and I were ****ing serious and being disowned from our families for our forbidden love was the WRONG thing to do? I want to go out with a bang (Oh yeah and make a statement, die for a purpose, all that stuff)

Hikari Ichibanbosi Posted:

Hey Dr Anansi, do you have any group specials, and/or products that, say, involve tons of sex and a very messy, very shocking, very PUBLIC end to prove to the world that my special somebody and I were ****ing serious and being disowned from our families for our forbidden love was the WRONG thing to do? I want to go out with a bang (Oh yeah and make a statement, die for a purpose, all that stuff)

yes

Illiteracy will do that. That’s why you need Dr. Anansi’s Home Literacy Kit ™

By learning how to read and even write you will gain back enough self esteem to kill yourself.

I keep crying in people’s faces

How can you help me with this, dr Anansi?

quangntenemy Posted:

discount for me?

No. But you may be able to talk the rest of forumwarz into chipping in some flezz for the common good.

TreyOlson Posted:

I tried Dr Anansi’s Home Masturbating Kit™ and it works wonders!

The secret ingredient is your mom.

Now I’m thinking of getting the Dr Anansi’s Home Nazi(卐) Kit™

Yes, you should buy all of my products. And then buy them again.