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Presidential Election 2008
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Poll: Who should become the next president of the United States of America?
You must be logged in to vote.
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As you know, today we are hosting a presidential election.
I am happy to present the two candidates and their official campaign promises. You are allowed to vote for one candidate using the poll feature at the top. Tomorrow, when the Election is over (hopefully! let’s not repeat the 2000 Florida incident!) the winner will be chosen and will be forced to stick to their promises.
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 8:27AM |
Rate this Post: 37
View Evil Trout's Profile
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I’m black. Seriously. Look at my skin. It’s not white like my opponent: it’s black.
Did you know that black people have slightly longer male reproductive organes on average than white people? Look it up on Wikipedia and be amazed. We’re talking an extra 1/4” on average. My speech writer said it’s inappropriate to talk about my male reproductive organ in a campaign speech: but then I showed him my extra 1/4” and he ran away crying.
Another thing to consider is that black people don’t get sunburned. That means no skin cancer. Did you know my opponent had skin cancer once? He did. When it comes back to kill him (and it necessarily will), he will be leaving a seal clubbing hockey mom to run the white house. She’s hot enough for my extra quarter incher, but not to run this country.
But enough rhetoric, here are my official campaign promises:
If I win:
– Every active user on Forumwarz will receive a bonus of 4 Forum Visits. – Since I am a socialist, I will tax the richest active Forumwarz accounts by 25% and spread it amongst the poorest active accounts. – Jobs will give double the points for the 24 hours following my win.
Bonus 1: If I also win the US Election:
– I will give out free access to Episode 2 to 10 random accounts who voted for me.
Bonus 2: If I also get more friend requests than McCain:
– I will give a new E-Peen™ to those who voted for me. |
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 8:59AM |
Rate this Post: 70
View Barack Obama's Profile
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It’s true: Obama is black. There’s nothing wrong with being black. I don’t hate black people, I just love being white ever so much!
Did you know white is the color of angels? White is the color of a beautiful snowfall on Christmas day. My beautiful wife’s veil was white on our wedding day, and our sheets were white that evening (until I took her sweet virginity away from her.)
Also white is the color of the delicious and sweet sugar I put in my coffee every morning. I then add milk to make it less black, because black is bitter and unpalatable.
White also rhymes with right. And might. And bright.
But enough about my superior pigmentation, here are my promises:
If I win:
– Every active account will receive a special new item. – Since I am a capitalist, I will tax the poorest active accounts by 25% and spread it amongst the wealthy active accounts. – I will randomly scatter 100BP over the accounts of those who voted for me.
If I also win the US Election:
– Evil Trout will record a karaoke version of the song of your choosing and will post it on Flamebate to mock endlessly.
If I also receive more friend requests than Obama:
– Custom titles changes will be free for a special pre-announced 30 minute timeframe. |
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 9:21AM |
Rate this Post: -51
View John McCain's Profile
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where is ron paul Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 9:28AM |
Rate this Post: 8
View Something_Witty's Profile
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ok…........ Log in to see images! Im not American and i live in Europe, so my vote would go to Obama. |
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 9:29AM |
Rate this Post: -3
View Angry hobo's Profile
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Barack Obama Posted:
Holy ****, got my vote.
PEENWHORES UNITE! |
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 9:30AM |
Rate this Post: -5
View Fran's Profile
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voted ron paul |
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 9:31AM |
Rate this Post: -3
View Cannabis_clock's Profile
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John McCain Posted:
yeah black people are scary anyway i’ma go with this dude Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 9:32AM |
Rate this Post: -7
View Something_Witty's Profile
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Btw, why is always a new (dumb) e-peen involved now? |
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 9:33AM |
Rate this Post: 0
View Angry hobo's Profile
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Barack Obama is black and thus he will be able to lead us through the dark night of our economy, night also being black you see. |
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 9:33AM |
Rate this Post: 5
View ReV VAdAUL's Profile
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John McCain Posted:
How could it be unique if everyone has it? Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 9:35AM |
Rate this Post: 5
View quangntenemy's Profile
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quangntenemy Posted: |
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 9:36AM |
Rate this Post: -4
View Fran's Profile
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Obama for the win. |
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 9:37AM |
Rate this Post: 1
View handofg0d's Profile
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I will vote for Barack “Yomama” Obama.
(But i’m not american, but, if i were, i would totally vote on Obama) |
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 9:37AM |
Rate this Post: 1
View Pinacho's Profile
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quangntenemy Posted: |
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 9:37AM |
Rate this Post: -4
View Evil Trout's Profile
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 9:38AM |
Rate this Post: 0
View SillyFace's Profile
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Wow, this is the best thread. Obama fo’ lyfe |
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 9:38AM |
Rate this Post: 1
View Inertia's Profile
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Hahaha, I’m Canadian. Is my vote null and void? |
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 9:38AM |
Rate this Post: 3
View Patch The Darknut's Profile
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Being a plumber of the middle clbum, I am insulted that Obama would be taxing me. His whole socialist ideals are planning on taking my money and redistributing it to the poor. I work hard for that money (so hard for it honey), so you better treat me right. |
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 9:40AM |
Rate this Post: 2
View Clackling's Profile
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Fran Posted:
**** yes (though I really did vote for the Darnkey (Dark Honkey)). |
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| Posted On: 11/04/2008 9:42AM |
Rate this Post: 0
View TJF588's Profile
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Come experience nothingness |