Thank you, thank you. Welcome to this special thread. But before we jump into what we need to talk about today I’d like to take a look back at the first several months of this year. iPhone still gaining market share in the US smart phone sales. MacBook Air still the worlds lightest notebook. The iPod lineup, still the best selling digital music player in the world. And finally The iTunes Music Store…highest selling online music store and the fourth largest music retailer only behind Best Buy, Wal-Mart and Target.

Now typically when we hold our special events we gather to introduce several new products and announce updates to our existing products. Not the case today. Today we’re only announcing 1 addition to our already outstanding product line. The reasoning behind this is we knew no matter what it would steal the show regardless. So with out further delay I’d like to announce our newest product.

The iThread. The iThread is basically text on the internet. But unlike other text on the internet we here at Apple have 73 patents to make The iThread the most amazing thread on the internet ever. The iThread is different because it comes with our logo on it and in really neat packaging. Also unlike other threads, The iThread is a guaranteed success. Not because of the content or quality of it, but because it has Apple’s name backing it and addition to that, I’m Steve Jobs.

And that’s The iThread. I would like to thank you all for coming today and now it’s my privilege to introduce our musical guest for today. Ladies and gentlemen, the wonderful and talented Randy Newman.

posting from an iMac running XP

POASTING IN AN ITHREAD

Venom Biff Tannen Posted:

Veer wants to bottom for you! Log in to see images!

GET THE FUK OUT, FAKE BIFF TANENN

YOUR COMPUTERS IS COVERED IN STICKY BLACK GOOP ANYQAYS

CAPTAIN SODA edited this message on 06/08/2008 2:46PM

That’s real Biff Tannen. I can tell for sure because he has a birthmark on his wang shaped exactly like a set of teeth.

Janie Posted:

That’s real Biff Tannen. I can tell for sure because he has a birthmark on his wang shaped exactly like a set of teeth.

LOOK AT HIS USERNAME

REAL BIFF TANNEN

elenaratelimit Posted:

IF THIS THREAD WAS A COMMERCIAL, WHAT SONG WOULD BE IN IT?

I HAVE TO DECIDE HOW MUCH I HATE YOU

As you know here at Apple we love music. And we love showcasing the music of deserving artists in our ads at the same time creating an image that best suits the product being advertised. After extensive research by our marketing division it has been made apparent that the song best suited to represent The iThread in the ad would have to be The Cars – Just What I Needed.

Thread of the year.