Dear Mr. Monkey,

Yes, I did hire a fine upstanding member of society to take care of my lawn and garden for me, but that was just last week. Last summer, oh heavens, it was simply dreadful. In a drought, the only things that will grow are weeds, and we had a bad one last year. The water department said we couldn’t use our sprinklers or our hoses because of some silly water shortage, when I know well and good that they’ve got thousands of gallons of water stored up in their hidden silos. So I just put my sprinklers out after dark, right before I went to bed. I felt a little bad in my conscience about it, but it’s not a sin to disobey a utility, so I didn’t feel it worth confessing.

Of course, this year we’ve had lots of rain, so it won’t be an issue as much as all the darn bugs!

And while I’m on the subject of nuisances, couldn’t you please remove that horrible drawing from all of your posts?

With all Christian love,

Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood