Captain Soda

CAPTAIN SODA is, quite possibly, the most powerful human being in all of existence. Rumored to be a superhero, or some kind of herculean Adonis among men, he frequently astounds those around him with feats of superhuman power and might.

True Stories of CAPTAIN SODA

Listed below are some of the remarkably true stories of CAPTAIN SODA:

• CAPTAIN SODA once killed an elephant through the internet. True story.

• CAPTAIN SODA's high school math teacher once caught him fighting with another student, and told him that violence was never the answer. In response, CAPTAIN SODA kicked the teacher in the face and punched him in the kidneys. CAPTAIN SODA received an A+ for the course and was immediately placed on the honor roll. True story.

• CAPTAIN SODA is so full of awesome that a single blast of his spray can decapitate a person instantly. True story.

• CAPTAIN SODA is the only member of Forumwarz to have his own fan club, of which many people are already members. Each member has their own custom-made badge, showing that CAPTAIN SODA can be a kind master. True story.

• CAPTAIN SODA single-handedly defeated a takeover attempt of his fan club by the 4 horsemen of the Apocalypse. True story.

• CAPTAIN SODA once killed a man with MS Paint. True story.

• CAPTAIN SODA'S power level is OVER ONE NINE THOUSAND! True story.

• CAPTAIN SODA once killed a ninja with a viking. Then he killed the viking with the dead ninja. True story.

• CAPTAIN SODA once punched a man back to life. True story.

• While hunting Vampires, CAPTAIN SODA ran over a Werewolf with his Monster Truck. CAPTAIN SODA then made an awesome hoodie out of the Werewolf fur and is now their Chief. True story.

• CAPTAIN SODA defeated a brick wall in a game of tennis. True story.

• Chuck Norris is not afraid of the dark. Chuck Norris is afraid of CAPTAIN SODA. True story.

• CAPTAIN SODA divided by zero. True story.

• CAPTAIN SODA judged a book by its cover. True story.

• Only CAPTAIN SODA can prevent forest fires. True story.

• CAPTAIN SODA stared evil in the face, and it backed down. True Story

See: POWER