Can I marry you?

Dear Miss Misanthrope,

I thought I had seen the most disgusting things in the so-called “poetry” you young children write here, things about fornication and what-not; but you, young lady, have sunk to new lows. You must have very low self-esteem to want a young man to use a razor on your naughty bits. The angels in heaven are weeping for you, as is our Blessed Mother.

I will pray for you. In the meantime, please stop bruiting about your nasty poems.

With all Christian love,

Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood

Lucinda Sherwood Posted:

Dear Miss Misanthrope,

I thought I had seen the most disgusting things in the so-called “poetry” you young children write here, things about fornication and what-not; but you, young lady, have sunk to new lows. You must have very low self-esteem to want a young man to use a razor on your naughty bits. The angels in heaven are weeping for you, as is our Blessed Mother.

I will pray for you. In the meantime, please stop bruiting about your nasty poems.

With all Christian love,

Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood

Dear Lucinda,

Pin and mount me like a butterfly.

Sincerely yours,

Mary Misanthrope.

Lucinda Sherwood Posted:

Dear Miss Misanthrope,

I thought I had seen the most disgusting things in the so-called “poetry” you young children write here, things about fornication and what-not; but you, young lady, have sunk to new lows. You must have very low self-esteem to want a young man to use a razor on your naughty bits. The angels in heaven are weeping for you, as is our Blessed Mother.

I will pray for you. In the meantime, please stop bruiting about your nasty poems.

With all Christian love,

Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood

And just when I believed I had seen the lowest of the low infesting these pages, I find something even more despicable just lurking around the corner. What gives you the right to come here and press your viewpoints upon someone who obviously does not share pathetic, sheltered beliefs? Who died and made you the crusader of all that is good and just in this world? And if you try to answer by claiming that your false “god” Jesus did, then I’ll be forced to take this debate to a much less pleasant level.

You’re no better than the rest of the ignorant sheeple who follow your dark, twisted religion, trying to prey on the ones you feel are weak and vulnerable. Naturally, how *dare* someone try to look beyond the false “light” of your blasphemous christianity (and yes, that’s uncapitalized on purpose, you simpering old bitch). Honestly, the nerve of you and your damnable “religion”. Go back to your laughable church and pray to your impotent god – I promise you he’s not really listening.

Correnth Posted:

Who died and made you the crusader of all that is good and just in this world? And if you try to answer by claiming that your false “god” Jesus did, then I’ll be forced to take this debate to a much less pleasant level.

Dear Mr. Correnth,

As a matter of fact, young man, Jesus did die so that all of his followers could be crusaders for all that is good and just in this world. I couldn’t have put it better myself!

I’ve read some of your poetry and, while it is certainly not in the least poetic, you do show some skill with basic English syntax and grammar. I’m very sorry that your language skills outstrip your spirituality. It is a shame that you cannot recognize the golden light of Christ’s love all around you.

However, as Father Joseph always used to say to the little tots at St. Barbara’s Elementary School (where I was the librarian for many happy years), “Every brick wall in your path is an opportunity to learn how to climb.” I see your challenge to me as just such an opportunity, and rest assured, young man, I will climb you.

I welcome the opportunity to debate our spiritual differences, and to turn your face at long last to the light of Christ.

With all Christian love,

Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood

Lucinda Sherwood Posted:

Dear Mr. Correnth,

As a matter of fact, young man, Jesus did die so that all of his followers could be crusaders for all that is good and just in this world. I couldn’t have put it better myself!

I’ve read some of your poetry and, while it is certainly not in the least poetic, you do show some skill with basic English syntax and grammar. I’m very sorry that your language skills outstrip your spirituality. It is a shame that you cannot recognize the golden light of Christ’s love all around you.

However, as Father Joseph always used to say to the little tots at St. Barbara’s Elementary School (where I was the librarian for many happy years), “Every brick wall in your path is an opportunity to learn how to climb.” I see your challenge to me as just such an opportunity, and rest assured, young man, I will climb you.

I welcome the opportunity to debate our spiritual differences, and to turn your face at long last to the light of Christ.

With all Christian love,

Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood

Mrs. Sherwood, Judge not, lest ye be judged.

basement secks.

... I love you.

mary misanthrope Posted:

... I love you.

Can it be true? Has the manphin found true love?

Correnth Posted:

Naturally, of course, the blind fish catches a scent in the water – Just the faintest aroma of a long dead morsel – and swims eagerly toward it, taking it within its mouth. But then its too late, and the hook is set, reeling it in for the long harvest. Oh, of *course* dear Mrs. Sherwood, I would *love* to offer you a debate on our spiritual differences. Unfortunately, the ultimate issue with such a thing is that for someone so blinded to reality there can be no “debate” – Only the sound of your own mind screaming as the truth enters your ears, fingers desperately attempting to plug the canals but knowing deep within your very heart that the lies you send every night to the empty skies above are never heard by anything but your thirty cats.

As to the rest of your statement, when speaking of “Fathers” and “climbing young men”, please refrain from doing so in the same sentence. Quite frankly, I’d rather not hear of what your Father Joseph did to those poor elementary school children – Though I love the sounds of agony and fear, I shudder at the thought of their tortured screams as this Joseph fellow followed along the path of others in his religion and proceeded to fill them with the love of christ

up their ass.

You see, Mrs. Sherwood, I have little tolerance for those of your ilk. Instead I’ve come over the past sixteen years to loathe those like you. A deep-seated, passionate hatred, the fires of which could only be matched by the myth of your “hell”. No, I have met many like you, and sent just as many away crying delicious tears, the knowledge of reality infesting their minds, breaking down the precious little walls they’ve built to sequester themselves away from reality. You are an escapist, Mrs. Sherwood, running from the truth of life. That there is no god. That your christ is a lie. That you’ve wasted your life on a pursuit that only gives you lost time, a tree that bears naught but rotted fruit, its branches swaying impotently in the torrential wind known as life.

You are trying to escape, Mrs. Sherwood. But soon there will be no place to hide.

snap

(i didnt read it)