Me: Hey man.

F4: Punch me in the face and **** on me.

Me: What?

F4: I want to be your little bum-whore, put me in a frilly pink dress and we’ll play naked barbies.

Me: Dude.

F4: I wrote this new song, CelerySteve. Allow me to sing it to you with your beef popsicle in my mouth. I still pee the bed.

Me: Really?

F4: Sometimes I wish I could wrap myself up all snuggly in ginormous gay man’s scrotum and suck my thumb.

Me: Oh man.

F4: I’m going to get the words “****-mop great times-dumpster” tattooed across my forehead.

Me: Ok.

F4: I bet I could fit a live rabbit half-way up my bum and just feel him squirm around until he suffocated.

FalconFour has contacted Dysentery.

You succesfully manage to ford the River.

FalconFour has died of Dysentery.