Two guys walk into a bar, separately, and have a seat at the bar.

One guy notices the other has a black eye, just like himself.

“He says, hey, man, how’d you get your black eye?”

“Well, says the first guy, I was at the train station, and the ticket girl had the most AMAZING rack. So instead of asking for two tickets to Pittsburgh, I slipped up and asked for ‘two PICKets to TITTsburgh’ and she hit me square in the face.”

“Wow,” said the guy, “that’s crazy.”

“Well,” says the first guy, “How about you? How’d you get yours?”

“Well, mine was actually a slip of the tongue as well!” the guy says, “I was just having breakfast with my wife, and what I MEANT to say was, ‘Honey, can you please pbum the Frosties?’, but I slipped up and said ‘You ruined my life, you fat ugly whore!’”